I realized some time ago, that I’m putting way too much emphasis on friendship. I feel like I love my friends too much, depend on them too much.

I always put them first, sometimes even before my family, I always try to be extra careful as not to offend them with anything, I hurt myself over the smallest disputes, I constantly try to please them, surprise them, make them happy etc.

But I don’t think they appreciate it, or even feel the same way, I’m never good enough, still, after everything, I constantly feel excluded and forgotten, never the first choice.

This sounds so egoistical and blown out of proportion, when said out loud, but it’s a matter I’ve been worrying about constantly, for the last few weeks.