My kind and lovely, dear followers, please, excuse my babbling and poor grammar in advance.
I must confess, in all seriousness, that I am a horrible, horrible person.
Over the years that I’ve had my tumblr, I’ve had an email address to which many of you wrote and which I very rarely checked and thus rarely replied. Not because I didn’t appreciate it, I do, I always did. Your emails, your messages and kind words were the things that got me out of my stupor and depression many times. I really appreciate this and feel incredibly humbled by all this positivity and kindness coming from all these wonderful people.
This is why there is absolutely no excuse for me, nothing to justify my inability to check my email, to write a short response to a virtual stranger who took their time to say something nice to me.
The only way I can explain my horrible behavior is that I have severe anxiety and for me even logging in to my email account, making a phone call or answering a text message is a big problem. I know this is incredibly stupid and rude, I know it is, but sometimes I can’t help it. I must sound so full of myself, please forgive me.
That is actually why I left tumblr for such a long time, once I stopped, I couldn’t come back. Anxiety is something that is continuously wrecking my chances of interacting with people and developing lasting relationships.
All this aside, what I wanted to say is this: I’m trying to get better and I’m trying to tackle three years worth of emails/messages in one sitting.
I’m so very sorry to all of you who wrote to me and didn’t receive a reply back, and when you do receive one now (years later), please know that I’m incredibly sorry and also incredibly thankful.
For me this is like making amends, a first step to getting rid of my anxiety, or at least a part of it.
All the love, Marie.
I love it when this kind of thing happens on your dashboard!
I’ve missed you all so very much!
I haven’t logged on tumblr for nearly a year, when in fact I was planning to leave for only a couple of days.
A year passed, and I can’t even really comprehend as to why or how I stayed away for so long.
I don’t know what happened, I guess, my anxiety kicked in and I just couldn’t, wouldn’t come back. But from now on, I’m back, back, back!
I hope all of you are well and happy and ready for this lovely spring that is coming our way.
Also, thank you SO much for sticking with me, despite my constant absence.
I really, really appreciate and love every single one of you, even if I don’t know you personally.
p.s. Meanwhile, I want to start working on a new blog, which will include everything I post here and some more. There are just so many interesting things to write about and my tumblr format/style isn’t cut out for it. But for now, it’s just a theory, I have no idea if I’ll be capable enough to run a blog with more substance. Will it be interesting enough, engaging enough? I don’t know. Well, at least I’ll try.
Once again, thank you so much for your love and concern! And sorry for my poor grammar, as always.
Much Love, Marie.